So the other day the ship was given to a church. It was screaming the whole day. Imagine it in the afterlife:

Lamb: Baaa
Devil: Oooh, a shippie! Welcome to Hell! You will suffer here for the eternity of your life… I mean afterlife
L: Oh no! Why? Oh Why?? No seriously, why?
D: I dunno. Let me check your file, -reads the dossier
D: A-ha. You’ve murdered. He’re a list: grasshoppers, ants, spiders. A toad! You’ve murdered a toad, you’re a sinner
L: It was self-defence. Bro, I’m a lamb. I can’t even read or understand human speech. I’m sort of sin-immune, you know
D: I have to say it’s not often that shippies are sent here. Let me see it again. Ouch, they did what to you? Monsters!
L: I prefer not to discuss it
D: You were supposed to suffer here, it’s kinda my job
L: Forgot? I don’t belong in here.
D: Yeah, right. So since you’re here maybe you would like to stay here?
L: Nah, it’s sort of too hot here. And I’m white, I don’t fit into this postmodern environment
D(turns fur red): How about now? See, I always wanted to have a shippie. There’s not a lot of cuddly stuff around.
L: Radical. I feel like Roman legionnaire now. Hail Cesar. What else can you do?
D: I can turn your intensils into ice-cream or worms
L: No, this I don’t want
D: Come on, based on your medical profile you already have worms inside
L: Yeah, there are certain medical problems in our region. Would not recommend to live there
D(does the magic)
L: Hey, I did not give you a premission… Wait, that tickles, haha. I like it. Why don’t they do it on land? Can you reverse it later?
D: Probably. See? You’ll like it here. Shippies are so much welcome
L: I’m a lamb. Call me lamb please
D: Can I call you lambie?
L: we’re not that close yet
D: Fine, lamb. So will you stay here? You know, it’s not too much of sane dudes around. It feels kind of lonely with all those psychoes and other top society if you know what I mean
L: Really? I’ve thought it’s kind of cool in here with all the rock stars and skaters and stuff
D: Have you read the rules? Oh yes, you’re in the literacy-limited side of spectrum. It’s very strict with the criterions. These are mostly angry people. But the worst is it’s my job to make them suffer here, so I can’t fall into humanistic relationships with them.
L: So you ask me to fall into humanistic relationships with you?
D: I got the joke, you are funny. Yes, we are limited to the language for no good reason which may lead to such situations. You sure seem like a good company
L: Thanks, man
D: Ha. Ha. Ha. Joke accepted
L: Yeah. But still. I feel like it’s not my vibe in here. And you know, I’d rather go to the eternal pleasure room instead of the torture room. And after all I could not be the one to get along with. I have my weirdness. Check out my profile. I think they should have listed it: late august 2022..
D: Seen it. So what? You were just spectating
L: Yes, but they say it’s not good
D: It depends on your own self after all. If you feel like it’s the right thing to do and it does not cause any disturbance to anyone’s life then your mind is the only instance that decides what to do. Also: I prefer to avoid the good and the bad separation here
L: Thanks, that comforts me
D: And after all I’ve done so hundreds of years ago too
L: What a perv
D: Can’t disagree. But one has to entertain oneself. Especially if you are not time-limited. There is no time in here actually at all. You’ve trapped here now but so is everyone else. Since now on there is only now and no future or no past
L: If I ask you how old are you?
D: It’s ’now’. That’s how it goes. Kind of like a Santa Claus who visits everyone at the same time. Except I’m not your uncle
L: And that’s how you entertain yourself?
D: Im mostly doing my job. As much as it is creative and important I like to add this and that to dilute my routines. One pro of being here is that we’re not limited to the rules of the antipode space. That leaves so much room for imagination if you think of it
L: It’s not something I want to think of at the moment. Also could you bring my intestines back to its original shape?
D: Would you prefer the very same state? I could add water-dispersing bacteria filter so that under certain lighting angle you will be able to observe the rainbow from time to time?
L: That’s dirty
D: Actually it’s cleaner and healthier (magick)
L: Don’t tell me there is a rainbow coming out of my lamb-emitter
D: You cannot emit a rainbow. It’s just light diffration that requires specific illumication and presence of the tiny droplets of water in the air.. There’s a number of physicists trapped around from the time when doing physics was an extreme sports.
L: The next time you do something like this I would prefer you actually listen to my reply. That’s called mutual respect. No wonder you don’t have friends
D: Sorry for that. I’ve developed certain habits here. You are right, I’ll try to avoid this behaviour. Most of the habitants here are meant to suffer. The rest are trying to deal with depression. It ain’t easy to work effectively daily without weekends and holidays. The very concept of day and night here is mangled too. It depends on something nobody knows. Sometimes it feels like day, sometimes like night and then you understand you’ve been working here for eternity and it does not make any difference.
L: That must be tough. How does it all exists and functions?
D: I dometimes doubt I even exist. Things are easy out there where you’ve come from. You live then you die then you come either here or to the atipode space or to one of whatever spaces you’ve believed to exist when you were alive..
L: Excuse me, I did not believe in anything. I’ll have to remid you I’m just a lamb.
D: Yes, right. Indeed you are. And here I am. Our existence here is way more questionnable than yours before it. Hell, I sometimes think I only exist because of all those dudes who choose for some reason that I must.
L: You seem like a nice dude. I wish somebody believes in you.
D: They do. But I have no idea who created me nor why I’m here nor if I’m real-o to be honest. But here we are and none of us knows what to do with it.
L: You don’t?
D: The only thing I know for sure is that we can try to resist or accept reality as is. The second path leaves less space for mental problems
development. Especially if you were not made for a job like that
L: So how do you guys here survive for so long?
D: The demons constantly having breakdowns. Ironically it helps doing the job the intended way. One thing for sure - they are not keeping it inside
L: And what about the other way to solve the problems? After all there should be a great supply of lady-sinners, you know what I mean
D: It’s more than enough. The problem is that once you have control of you body and hormones, you are leaving the circle of obsession. There are many sinners in here. I used to hang out in the gluttony departament for a while. These guys I don’t envy the most: when the rules were written they knew nothing about genetic illness or stress-induced super-critical appetite. And now I have to deal with it. Same goes to boasting and overconsumption. These guys have worked so hard to lower the load on the antipode space recently. Now there’s a separate section for the iPhone fans. Why do I have to suffer with them?
L: Are they still taking selfies?
D: You don’t want to see it, trust me. They suffer like crazy. You know what also is ironic about the dudes who get in here?
L: What? They want to be like you nonetheless?
D: The other thing: almost nobody gets in here after living a happy life. They suffer back in the life and they continue doing it in here, but with my assistance. The most ironic thing is however is that almost all of them wanted to live forever. It’s not quite exactly the life in the original meaning, more of the afterlife to be specific. But essentially it’s the dream come true except for a little nuance as they say. But some of them don’t have the sanity to even comprehend this. Others trying to be comfortable about it. Although it is eternal suffering it becomes your new normal state after all, so it loses the value in itself, gets trivial and routine too. Now this is where even the toughest ones snap. And they all get in here by their own will, their own beliefs, you know?
L: I thought it was your deeds that lead to this. Like corrupting the minds and tempting the souls?
D: Do I look like I can contol someone’s mind? It’s just a concept people have invented to avoid resposibilities for the nasty things they do. And after all, had I been able to control your mind, would we be having this conversation? I think it would lead to a great despair had someone been able to read minds already. Not even controlling it. Would have made a nice plot for a James Belushi movie I guess.
L: Cheer up. I’d recommend getting some fresh-grown grass, but my guess it’s out of your wishlist.
D: Thanks. You know, the one thing to that cheers me up. Have you read “Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman!”?
L: A lamb. I’m a lamb, you forgot?
D: Yeah, right. So there a story about the dudes who are professional B-word interpreters. They can turn any phrase inside-out and fitting to their needs easily. There is not a single of those in here! I can only imagine the bureacracy they develop in the antipode space
L: Have you asked the watcher?
D: Not quite. Actually I’ve been hanging out with other space watchers but when you live for eternity and you know each other completely it makes less sense. We’re in good relationships but with all the work we do it feels like we’re losing contact and nobody is here to do anything. You know, there’s one keeper who has almost completely lost the flow of the newcomers? They thought he could not see whenever there is no direct sunlight. He tried everything he could to deliver the message but there are not a lot of options to do so. With this amount of crazy AND the Internet, pushing messages through the messiahs has become next to impossible
L: That’s a bummer. And what about new religions? I’ve heard they keep inventing it
D: Yeah. There is a chance we will get Tarvu soon with his own space
L: Isn’t it that he should have existed forever and hence you should have known him already?
D: As soon as he appears he will start have been existing forever and I will start have knowing him forever. Should be a nice guy if they don’t mess up. It’s like a Universe: once it’s here you cannot undo it and you have to deal with it
L: Lamb
D: Right.